Legacy Letter: Jessica Cavas

Year 2 (Generations United of Yavapai County/MATForce)

November 2007 

I have completed a year of national service.

When I decided to be a VISTA in November of 2006, I didn't think of it as national service or anything particularly noble. In all honesty, the idea of service was not attractive to me at all because it brought to mind the military. I just knew I wanted to get my foot in the door of the non-profit world, and continue my journey to make a positive impact. During my year, I often found myself asking "What brought me here? What was I looking for?" While the answers to these questions are not simple, I think it is important for every VISTA to reflect on this during and after their year of service.

After graduating college, the States became a comfortable home base to bounce into more exciting places like Thailand, Spain, Bolivia and West Africa. And so I bounced, and I experienced incredible things. I volunteered everywhere I went. I was eager to contribute and create solutions to social or environmental challenges. But after volunteering, I found myself feeling empty. The organizations I worked for seemed so exhausted and overworked that they didn't have the time or energy or, most importantly, the trust to listen to a volunteer new to the project. Little did I know that all along there was a program in the States designed to give volunteers the chance to be taken seriously.

Like people, organizations have complex histories. As a VISTA working for Generations United of Yavapai County and MATForce (Yavapai County Substance Abuse Coalition) I was often impatient and confused by the actions or opinions of coalition members or leaders. By sitting and listening and asking questions, I tried to understand what was important to them, and see how that fit with the project's objectives.

I like logic. It drives me crazy knowing that hidden behind every person, organization, and landscape there just might be a very logical reason for how things got to be how they are today. This way of thinking proved helpful as I worked for GUYC and MATForce. Like all community coalitions, there is a long and complex history as to how and why they evolved. Unfortunately, I found myself in a situation where it appeared the organization (GUYC) that asked me to work for them was not in fact prepared to have me there. It took me a good 5 months to figure this out, as I tried to be patient and continually told myself "it will get better when _____ happens." Fortunately, since I was supported by my fellow VISTA members I was able to keep pushing on and all the struggles that GUYC faced proved to be valuable lessons that I will carry with me wherever I go. At least I finished my year with MATForce, an organization that gave me 4 months of clear tasks and the supervision and support I was missing all along.

Every VISTA experience is different. You can label something, describe it in length, set pictures beside it, and spend all night long trying to convey its meaning to someone. In the end, that thing is yours and only yours. You'll desperately want to share it, but the expression on their faces tells you again and again that only you can understand this thing. The circumstances that brought you into the project plus your unique skills and interests will never align again. Since you are fresh to the scene, a VISTA has the ability to add logic and structure behind other people's passion. This is why AmeriCorps VISTA volunteers are so important. And this is why I decided to stick around and become VISTA Leader. I believe in this program and I want to see other VISTA members get the year that I feel I should have gotten.

My VISTA year taught me patience, and how to appreciate and acknowledge of the necessity of time. Time allows all living things to adapt, to learn, and transfer key lessons on to the next generation. I started my year of service with skepticism, having walked away from international projects that left me feeling confused and helpless. This meant when I yet again felt a sense of disappointment I had little energy to make change. However, after months of hoping and small efforts with my team, I surrendered to certain truths and began to see the opportunity in front of me to apply all those lessons learned and use VISTAs in this community to their full potential. With learning and understanding comes a sense of control, and confidence. And with confidence anything is possible. There are times to walk away, but there are times to sit stubbornly at the table and keep asking "Why?" This is not about confrontation, but an invitation to join a continual search for new and better ways to solve whatever issue is being faced. I decided to stick with this project as VISTA Leader to make the next generation of VISTA projects all that they can be.

Overall, I learned how to celebrate the little things, how to dream about the big things, and how crucial it is to have the proper structure in place before moving forward.

Jessica Cavas
AmeriCorps VISTA
Generations United of Yavapai County/MATForce
November 2006-2007